


don't you hear sincerity in my voice when i talk

by cyclothimic



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Established Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, F/F, Happy Ending, Kara Danvers Needs a Hug, Loss of Trust, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, Oh My God, Protective Kara Danvers, Romance, i think i died a little, this fic is so long
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-08 03:04:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17973269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cyclothimic/pseuds/cyclothimic
Summary: "No, not Supergirl. Me. It's me," Lena corrected.Kara tilted her head, more confused at Lena's words. "What about you?""I wish I don't care about Supergirl," Lena whispered, opening her eyes and staring off into the space in front of her.-or Lena's memory is wiped intead of Alex's, and she forgets that she's engaged to Kara in the process and doesn't trust Supergirl all over again.





	don't you hear sincerity in my voice when i talk

**Author's Note:**

> holy crap this fic was something. twitterverse asked for angst, and i am here to deliver, but fuck, i think my brain broke.
> 
> you have no idea how many times i had to rewrite certain scenes to make sure the flow is good and every word is clear and every sentence is meaningful. it's so long that i often lost track of what i had written. this has to be the longest one-shot i had ever written, so y'all should appreciate the effort i put into it by crying buckets of tears.
> 
> now, read, ponder, and weep.

_Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems;_

_Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano;_

_All I know is that I love you too much to walk away though._

_-Eminem ft. Rihanna, Love the Way You Lie_

* * *

"There has to be another way."

There were only Lena and her in the room; everyone else had departed to give them some time alone before J'onn performed the procedure. Lena stood on the other side of the room, expression mirroring Kara's and lips trembling, her arms crossed over her chest in an attempt to protect herself from something – Kara wished it wasn't her.

Lena shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut tightly. The blonde watched as she inhaled deeply through her nose and released through her mouth, an action repeated three times. Once, Lena had told her it was a tactic taught by a counselor in boarding school.

"More than anyone, I wish there is," Lena said, the words shaky as her throat bobbed in an effort to stave away the tears. "But there isn't, Kara. I have to do this." At that, the CEO gave Kara the privilege of looking into her teary green eyes that emitted everything that Lena couldn't bring herself to say. "I have to do this," Lena repeated, "and you have to let me."

"How can I  _let_ you?" Kara exploded, throwing her arms out in the air. "We are engaged. We are going to get married. The only reason we're even engaged right now is  _because_ I told you the truth and we rebuilt our relationship from there. Erasing your memories just means –" She stopped, couldn't even bear to say the words.

Her body sagged and she hung her head back in exhaustion. For a few long minutes, silence permeated the room, broken only by the ticking of the clock above the door and the humming of the CPU. And then – shuffling of heels, clacking of said heels across the floor, a resigned sigh, and a pair of gentle palms cupping her cheeks and urging her to look down.

"What am I gonna do if you don't remember who I am?" Kara asked brokenly as she gazed into those green eyes that always had her knees weak.

Lena pursed her lips and forced a smile. "If there's one thing I know about us, it's that I always know who you are, regardless of whether you are Kara Danvers or Supergirl. To me, you are  _Kara_. It's as simple as that."

Releasing a whimper, the Kryptonian loosened her grip on the CEO's hips and circled her arms around the woman's waist, pulling her so close that their bodies pressed together. Her forehead rested against Lena's temple and she inhaled deeply, trying to infuse the scent with her system.

"Trust me, Lena Luthor will always love Kara, no matter what," Lena offered.

Kara didn't know what she could really say, so she drew back and took one long look at her fiancée's face – that in love and enamored face that Kara was always so glad to wake up to since they took their relationship to the next level. And then she lowered her lips to Lena's, knowing that this could very well be their last.

* * *

Her sister's heartbeat was familiar as she listened to the redhead walk out of the elevator and down the hallway, footsteps getting slower as Alex neared Kara's apartment. Her sister's breathing was shaky, almost like she wanted to get the hell out of dodge, but Alex sucked in air harshly, then the door was unlocked and Alex came in.

She looked over the place that Lena and Kara had gotten after Kara had bumbled her way through asking the CEO to move in together and Lena just offered her answer with a smiling kiss. Letting out a low whistle that wouldn't have been audible to a human ear, Alex made her way through the mess of boxes to reach Kara, who was sitting on the couch and staring emptily at a picture frame she couldn't let go of.

In it were Lena and Kara, dressed in warm coats and scarves, arms wrapped around each other and snowflakes falling over them and making their way into the frame. In it, Lena was staring into the camera with a shiny glimmer in her eyes and her mouth opened in a laugh, and Kara was just staring at the only thing that she could stare at – the woman who found it in herself to forgive Kara for her years of deceit and even accepted Kara's invitation for a coffee date.

This photo was taken three months into their relationship. And Kara hadn't even realized that she was head over heels in love with Lena until she saw herself in this photo.

"That was a good day," Alex whispered, a smile tugging on her lips as she remembered the double date they had – Lena and Kara with Sam and Alex.

"Is it done?"

The smile on Alex's face diminished and she nodded slowly. "J'onn got her to sleep. Sam carried her back ho –" Kara's eyes closed and she had to stop herself from cracking the glass of the frame. "To the penthouse."

"I guess we should feel lucky that we didn't end up selling the penthouse and the loft."

She could feel her sister hesitate next to her, lifting her hand and lowering it and then lifting it again to place a gentle palm on Kara's back. "Kara, I –"

The blonde leaped to her feet, carelessly dropping the photo in the one remaining open box, and stalked towards the kitchen island. She had her hands pressed to her temples as she avoided looking at the other person in the apartment.

Being around Lena had taught her a lot, one of them being maintaining a poker face to get what she wanted. And what she wanted right now was Lena, but she couldn't have that, so the next best thing would be to be alone. She wanted to be alone, but as much as she had learned, Lena Luthor remained the one and only true victor of card games and Monopoly rounds among their circle.

Which was why Kara stopped trying and just allowed a choked sob to escape her throat as her hands dropped onto the surface of the counter, so hard that there were cracks on the finishing. Lena was going to be so pissed. Or maybe not, since she wouldn't even remember their home in the first place.

"Oh honey," Alex shushed, having made her way over to the Kryptonian and wrapped her arms around the woman. "It's going to be okay."

No, it wasn't. Nothing was going to be okay any longer. She felt like she had lost almost everything. The thought of not getting to wake up to the coffee machine percolating Lena's favorite brew made her want to throw up. The idea of going to work without at least one decent conversation with the CEO made her want to sink her knees to the floor and never get up.

Nothing was going to be okay.

* * *

"So she…forgot."

"I wouldn't say she's forgotten."

"She doesn't know you're Supergirl."

"Yes."

"She still thinks that you're still friends, instead of fiancées."

"Yes."

"Her relationship with Supergirl is still fraught."

"Yes."

"So she forgot."

Kara huffed a sigh, pushing away from the balcony railing to turn slightly towards Cat Grant, who was lounging in an ottoman with a glass of champagne dangling between her fingers and a pair of huge ass sunglasses blocking the sunrays from invading her eyes. Even on vacation on a beach in Greece, the Queen of Media still managed to retain her regale and no-nonsense attitude in this getup.

"She's not – she still knows what's happening. She understands that  _now_ is  _now_. She remembers her current projects, contract deadlines, how long the President has been the President," Kara started ranting, arms wilder and wilder in gesticulations. And then she deflated. "She just doesn't…" Drifting off, she turned back around to lean against the balcony railing, letting the sun  _fail_  to rejuvenate her current mood.

A long beat, a delayed pause, wherein broken only by the waves crashing the shores and the shrieks of children and the singing of besotted couples and the wonderments of solo travelers. Engorged only by Cat's silent ponderings. Filled only by the sorrow Kara felt when she saw Lena for the first time since the procedure and the  _look_ in those eyes that only showed how  _little_ she knew.

She had thought she could do it. Pretend that nothing happened and proceed with her friendship with Lena as  _Kara Danvers_ , the reporter. But she couldn't. So after only thirty minutes of forced smiles on her side and obliviousness on Lena's, she pretended James had texted her and got the hell out of dodge.

And then she darted into an alleyway, stripped off into her suit, and took to the air for the rest of the day.

"I find difficulty in picturing Lena to not be completely and crazily in love with you," Cat finally opined.

Kara scoffed mirthlessly. "Oh, she is. She just doesn't know that I  _know_. And she can't know that I know, because that would only defeat the purpose of all this."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why would her knowing that you know defeat the purpose of this?"

Cat spoke those words so lackadaisically, so  _genuinely_  curiously, that it kind of pissed Kara the hell of. Because the woman  _knew_  – she  _knew_ everything that happened, all the things that she and Lena had to go through with and away from each other, to get to where they were.

Her asking this question was just oxymoronic and the blonde knew for sure that the older woman wasn't  _that_ dumb, so she just didn't understand why Cat was pretending to be so clueless now.

Kara mustered all the patience she had in her and stopped herself from gritting her teeth at her former mentor. " _Because_ it took  _trust_. I had to tell her my real identity and we had to build our trust from there. She had to slowly trust me again and I had to do so much to regain it. Only then did we even  _consider_ the possibility of being anything  _more_ than friends."

Cat hummed again, not at all perturbed by Kara's descent into outrage. Kara released a groan that was simultaneously frustrated and apologetic, and then she slid forward against the railing until her arms were held up by her armpits and her forehead was rested against the steel.

"I first met Lena when she was seven years old and reading a heavy book on thermodynamics and such and such at a Christmas party in Metropolis," Cat reiterated the story that she had told when Kara was first so dumbfounded at the friendship between Lena and Cat. "It's safe to say that I am one of the few people who know her best, and one thing I know about her is that Lena Luthor's  _trust_ isn't given out easily."

Yeah, okay, sure, just lay it on. Because what was a little more bad news to the ache that only seemed to grow in heaviness in her chest. The Kryptonian clenched her jaw and retained her position, fighting not to fly away and escape this apparently useless conversation with her mentor, someone whom she thought would be able to provide some advice for her current situation.

Then again, this was a situation like none other. This wasn't just some  _The Vow_ situation – honestly, she could only  _wish_ for things to be as simple as portrayed in that movie. Not only did she have a partly amnesiac fiancée, there were also responsibilities like her safety and Lena's safety and their positions of power in the world and the xenophobic brother and  _Rao-damned_ Colonel Haley.

Kara really shouldn't have expected Cat to be able to even offer any kind of life advice that would prove useful. Maybe it would have been more useful if she just flew Cat over to the White House and have drop a few colorful but polite phrases to  _advise_ the President to remove the colonel from the DEO's jurisdiction.

"But it can be  _earned_ , as I'm sure you know well," Cat added.

The inflection in Cat's tone, firm and probing, prompted Kara to straighten up in her stance and listen more closely to what the Queen of Media had to stay.

"Now I know that this is a rather…complicated state of affairs for you and Lena and your peers. Even I'm going to cancel my trip to National City until you resolve it; nothing good's going to come out of my direct interception." Cat held up a hand to stop Kara's protest. "But this isn't the first time you find yourself in a complicated situation. I even daresay that it's not the  _most_ complicated."

"What are you even –"

"You already  _know_ that there is a way for you to regain her trust. You've already experienced that. You've already gone through the rebuilding of an acquaintanceship, if not friendship, between your alter ego and Lena Luthor. You  _know_ how to work it through the first time."

"This is different," Kara argued.

"So  _adapt_ , Kara." The Kryptonian blinked at the proper pronunciation of her name, realizing that Cat was being dead serious. "You, of  _all_ people, are supposed to be good at that, aren't you?" Cat challenged, even repeatedly jabbing a finger into Kara's arm.

A huge part of her had already given up, if she was to be honest. But if she told Kara that, it was highly likely that the woman would find  _some_ way to push Kara over the edge of the balcony, probably hoping that a good burrow of the head into concrete would give her some sense.

She beheld Cat's unwavering glare and felt, once again, the inspiration that was Cat Grant. It was always effective, and yeah, she made a right choice coming here. Cat Grant always had a point.

As if sensing that she had gotten through to the superheroine, the glare was dropped, replaced by the aloofness that had become the Cat Grant brand. She edged her lips towards the glass of champagne and waved a dismissive hand in the hair.

"Update me when it's all resolved. It has been too long since I get to lay eyes on my favorite CEO."

* * *

Anxiety couldn't even begin to cover it. It was more than that. Felt like fear. Felt like nervousness. Felt like all sorts of the worst feelings all tangled up together. And now that she could no longer show up at the DEO without a pair of Kryptonite handcuffs slapped on her wrists, she only felt worse because she knew  _nothing_.

Thankfully enough, her sister was kind enough to gather all the important people at the rooftop of L-Corp once they had finished whatever it was that they wanted to discuss with Lena at the headquarters, including Lena. Ironically enough, everyone here was aware of Supergirl's true identity except for Lena – and that thought only made Kara all the madder.

Everyone was gathered on the rooftop, and Kara was grateful for their devotion to this mission to protect one of the most important people in Kara's life, but she only had eyes for the CEO.

This would be the first time she saw Lena after a little over two weeks of active evasion; cited excuses included assignments, sister nights, and illness – she was starting to run out of excuses. It wasn't that she didn't want to see Lena, because she  _desperately_ wanted to see the woman, especially when she no longer got to wake up to the one person who always made her day durable, no longer had permission to just huddle up to the woman and smack kisses on her face, no longer could love Lena as publicly as she used to be able to.

But then she also needed some space before she made true on Cat's advice. Because if Lena had forgotten that Kara was Supergirl and vice versa, then it also meant that Lena still resented Kara for misunderstanding her so horribly during the time of Reign. And Kara still wasn't quite prepared to face head on her own stupidity and blindness to how much Lena had  _cared_.

Lena looked worse for wear, which Kara couldn't blame the woman for. They had all woken up to the most horrible news ever, and before Kara could even reach out to the CEO, she found that the woman had already been dragged to the DEO – no doubt for senseless questioning and pointless accusations.

Maybe it was better that Kara hadn't been there. Otherwise, she probably would have burned holes into the interrogation room and fly Lena away from all this mess.

"Are you – are you okay?" Kara had to ask.

Lena crossed her arms – in an act to distance herself from everyone or just Supergirl, Kara couldn't be sure. She was trying her very best to look nonchalant, but Kara recognized the slight pinch at the edges of her eyes, indicating that this was definitely more than Lena was pretending it to be.

"Well, I was called up at four in the morning and told that my brother has managed to escape prison, so…" the CEO drifted off with a one-shouldered shrug.

When she saw the way Lena's lips trembled, Kara wanted nothing more than to stride forward, pick her up, and hug her as tightly as she could. But then Alex emitted a cough way too fake for everyone to notice, even Lena to pick up on, so Kara had to cross her arms herself and ignore the odd look Lena was sending their way.

"The DEO – they didn't…hurt you, did they?" Kara then asked, this time ignoring the affronted stare Alex was sending her way.

Lena narrowed her eyes. "Why does it matter to you?"

Kara heaved a sigh, feeling the lance piercing through her chest at the confrontational tone Lena had taken on. Maybe she shouldn't have asked that. "Just because you stopped caring doesn't mean I did," she pointed out.

"Don't worry, Supergirl. As long as I am still of use, as long as I am still too valuable an asset, I'm certain that I will still be safe from the agency."

"You always will be." Alex stood akimbo, sure and unwavering. "As long as I'm in charge," she added.

Lena gulped and nodded in thanks. "We still don't know  _how_ he got out or even  _where_ he is." She paused, and then said, "Well, I would have tried to go through all the files I have on my brother the moment I found out, but then certain agents showed up at my door before I could even put on my underwear, demanding that I give them answers."

Kara frowned. "I thought you said –"

"They didn't. I'm just saying they could've been a little courteous. A woman deserves her propriety, after all."

"I'm sorry for Colonel Haley," Alex offered with a grimace, actively avoiding Kara's eyes as she suddenly found Sam's leather jacket particularly interesting.

Right then, Kara wished she hadn't been so nice, wished she didn't make a pledge to  _not_ kill unless the situation forced her to. Because she wished more than anything to sear two holes into the colonel's chest and have J'onn restore her fiancée's memories and they could get married immediately.

Before any of them could say anything else, Alex's phone rang, interrupting the atmosphere. She picked up the call and they all watched as her frown deepened and her voice became harsher as she stayed longer on the phone. There were a few curses and several more spat out questions, then the redhead hung up, followed by another muttered curse that only the three Kryptonians present could hear.

"I gotta get back to the DEO," she said. "Ben Lockwood's been released."

Kara heard Lena inhale sharply across from her while her own gut seemed to drop to the bottom of her stomach at the news. It was as if the news was it, the dismissal of this impromptu meeting, and with Lena's promise to update them with anything she could find, they all filed away. Most of them took the stairs down to the bank of elevators, while J'onn and Clark flew up, up, and away.

In the end, Kara and Lena were the only ones on the rooftop. Lena could have left herself, but she didn't. Kara didn't want to read too much into this; she waited anyway, for whatever Lena was going to say or do next.

The raven-haired woman stuffed her hands into her coat pockets and strolled towards the edge of the building, only lingering a few inches from the brink. Kara felt her anxiety rise at the sight, because Lena was wearing heels and while the woman could master those heels on uneven ground better than Kara could master her socks on her apartment floor, it was  _still_ one step to falling off the roof.

"Cat Grant was right," Lena commented in her normal volume, knowing that Kara could hear her clearly.

Kara was a little thrown off at the mention of her mentor and almost wanted to say something about Lena should know about how right Cat Grant was, only to recall that at this stage, she wasn't supposed to know that Lena and Cat had been friends long before Kara even knew either of them.

Pretending to be obtuse, Kara asked, "You knew Cat Grant?"

The woman who was supposed to be Kara's fiancée remained silent. And then she said, "I haven't had a chance to properly admire the sunset in this city since I've moved here, and this building really does have the best view across the state."

No, this was the worst. Lena forgetting that Kara was Supergirl was one of the worst – if not  _the_ worst – thing to have ever happened. Because Lena was wrong – dead wrong. She  _had_ seen the sunset, and the first time she did was when Kara suggested that she got the best view for her first view and flew her to the coast.

"I know that you…hate me right now, and you're right to. But I still – I promise that I'll do the best I can to protect you from your brother." This was it, the first step to take to earn that important trust.

It was the sigh. The sigh that sounded so  _unamused_ and  _sad_  escaping Lena's lips. That little sound stopped Kara in her tracks, where she could just float backwards and fly away to brood alone.

"I don't hate you, Supergirl."

Kara frowned.

"Think what you want about me, Supergirl. Honestly, I don't even care what anyone thinks about me anymore."

Lena threw a look over the horizon of the building, at the people lingering downstairs, at National City as a whole. It was sorrowful, regretful, and dejected.

And once again, Kara found the urge rise in her – the urge to get the largest megaphone she could find and yell at everyone for  _still_ distrusting Lena Luthor, despite everything the woman had done to save their lives and their planet.

"But I do care," Lena then said.

Kara knew she cared. She did. After everything that had happened between them – from the argument to the engagement – if there was only one thing that was starkly clear to Kara, it was that Lena  _cared_. Lena cared so damn much, almost too much, more than herself. She cared more about the people who still sneered at her and tossed hate speech at her than herself. She cared more about the bulletproof heroine of the city than herself.

But when Kara could find enough senses to respond, when Kara had fully processed the truth of those words, when Kara truly understood the significance behind Lena telling her this in her forgetfulness, Lena was already gone. The only thing lingering in the air was the smell of her perfume and the constant imprint of her voice echoing along the particles.

 _I do care_.

* * *

"Is that coffee black?" Lena asked.

Heaving a scoff, the journalist handed the cup over to Lena. "I took the liberty of adding some creamer for you."

"Will there ever be a time when you respect my wishes?"

"Of course, always. But as long as you get me to get you coffee, well," Kara pronounced with a casual shrug before settling down next to Lena on the couch.

"Always, huh?"

When the blonde lifted her gaze from the coffee cup, Lena was gazing at her, hand tucked into her glossy hair, lips twitching with a miniscule smile, a wistful look in those green pools that had managed to stare into Kara's soul the first moment they met. And Kara wanted – more than anything – to kiss her.

Be the genie to Lena's Aladdin. Whatever she wanted, Kara wanted to give it to her. Even if it meant getting near Kryptonite. Even if it was Kryptonite itself. Since the moment Kara had been so brazen as to kiss Lena first, she had known that she was susceptible to each and every one of Lena's wants. After all, it was only because Lena asked for her memories to be wiped that Kara nodded her assent, which was how they were where they were currently.

Seemingly having seen something on Kara's face, Lena said, "I wish Supergirl isn't so…"

Kara stiffened at the mention of her alter ego. She carefully let her cup joined Lena's on the table and folded her hands over her knee. "Isn't so what?" she prodded gently.

Lena closed her eyes and the wistful smile on her face turned sad, like she was grieving the loss of something but she didn't quite know what it was.

Kara had to stop herself from reacting physically, because maybe Lena didn't forget entirely. Maybe Lena was so strong mentally that not even J'onn could perform the procedure to its completion. Maybe there were gaps.

She repressed the hope rising in her chest. Forced herself to understand the reality of the current situation, which was that Colonel Haley was after them – after her – Lena's memories had to be wiped to protect Kara, and now they were back at square one in their friendship.

Square one as in Lena and Kara were best friends but Lena and Supergirl were…not friends. Square one as in they were not engaged, let alone dating. Square one where Kara couldn't outright tell Lena that she loved her. Square one where Kara  _couldn't_ love Lena.

"No, not Supergirl. Me. It's me," Lena corrected.

Kara tilted her head, more confused at Lena's words. "What about you?"

"I wish I  _don't_ care about Supergirl," Lena whispered, opening her eyes and staring off into the space in front of her.

The Kryptonian had to turn away from Lena to avoid being seen sucking in a harsh breath and blinking rapidly to wash away the moisture lingering behind her eyelids. No one would have thought that seven simple words would have such an effect on her, the heavy pang in her chest unbelievably rough.

And yet, they weren't so simple. Because as she herself had said, she  _cared_. She cared about Supergirl so much that she refused to go to sleep unless Kara was home, or at least unless Kara had called to report that she was safe and sound. She cared about Supergirl so much that she once almost took a Kryptonite bullet to the stomach for Kara. And Kara had also recently learned that Lena cared about Supergirl so much that she purposely invented a suit to protect Kara from Kryptonite, despite the tension in their complicated relationship.

If Lena remembered, she would have wished she cared more, while Kara would have wished cared less. But now, Lena wished she didn't care, and Kara had no idea it would hurt this much.

"You know, Supergirl cares a lot about you," Kara replied, not sure what exactly she was trying to achieve by saying that.

"I  _know_. And she  _shouldn't_. And I  _don't want to_."

"Why?" the blonde had to ask. She had to know what this Lena was thinking – before their reunion, before their first kiss – and this was an opportunity.

"Because you didn't see her when I realized I had Kryptonite. It was so – She sounded so vitriol, so suspicious; it was like she was ready to jump at the first chance to lock me up for it. And I don't know how to reconcile that with the Supergirl I know – or I thought I was supposed to know – or maybe I always knew." Lena frowned, thrown off by her own narrative. "I don't know."

Kara had no other choice but to keep staring at the woman she loved, wanting to so much to just disregard everything and kneel in front of Lena and apologize with everything. Promise her all the good and love in the world. Promise her everything that made up Kara Danvers

But she didn't do any of that.

* * *

The first time Kara saw Lucy again after another six months of absence, it was at the DEO. Alex had called her – because like it or not, she still needed to keep herself afloat – and told her to be at the DEO after work. Safe to say, Kara was incredibly wary, and the only reason she even obeyed was because she trusted Alex inherently.

When she landed on the balcony and  _no one_ pointed any form of weapons in her direction, not even the apparently seething Colonel Haley, Kara was reasonably surprised. Still, years of training with Alex and J'onn had taught her to never let her guards down, so she carefully strolled into the interior of the headquarters, only to find herself overjoyed at the sight of her old friend standing at the central station as well.

Kara immediately made for Lucy, eager to finally hug her friend, only to be stopped by a held-up hand from said friend. The blonde skidded to a stop right next to the brunette, pouting as she did so.

"In case you haven't noticed," Lucy said and gestured at her other arm that was in a cast. "Turns out JAG Corps isn't that safe for the body. Who would have known?"

Alex snorted. "It's  _military_  justice," she pointed out.

"I don't need your sass right now, Danvers."

"What are you doing here?" Kara asked, grinning at her friend and pointedly ignoring a certain colonel who was  _still_ seething.

"Lex Luthor escaped. I was part of the team that sent him into Cell Block X, and I will be damned if I'm not part of the team to put him in," Lucy simply said. But then she sent Kara a meaningful look, a look that said a lot about her understanding of Kara's relationship with Lena and her own capacity here as not only a dedicated law enforcement officer but also a friend.

Kara narrowed her eyes slightly and tried to subtly look to Alex, who nodded minutely in indication to Lucy's comprehension of their current situation.

"Okay." The Kryptonian finally acknowledged Colonel Haley's presence around the table, her brows immediately bridging into a confused frown and her arms crossed in a defensive position. "How am I allowed here?" she asked the woman responsible her current living situation and her – hopefully temporary – loss of a fiancée.

Once she had voiced her question, everyone displayed reactions ranging from hilarity to unamused. Winn pursed his lips in an effort not to smile as he pointlessly tapped on his tablet. Alex stared at Colonel Haley, like she was just  _anticipating_ the woman to speak out. Lucy straight up snorted and grinned at the colonel.

Meanwhile, something Kara didn't even think was possible happened with the colonel, whereby her face became even more sour. Reluctantly, she answered, "Miss Luthor has made it a provision that she will only work with us if you are included in any discussion and mission involving the capture of her brother. As we apparently need her expertise, the President signed off on the truce, but  _only_ for the purpose of capturing Lex Luthor."

Kara couldn't help herself. She knew she was supposed to maintain her composure in order to keep Lena as safe as possible and to delay Haley's outreach to the CEO, but the words had only served to light a fire in Kara's chest, a fire that had been dimmed for far too long in the blonde's opinion, and she could only grin in happiness at the thought.

Just then, the familiar click clack of powerful heels rang out and they all spun around to see Lena descending the short range of stairs elegantly, like the regal CEO that she was in her blue dress and beige coat and her hair tied up in a high ponytail.

Kara's grin froze slightly at the sight before her, completely unprepared for the  _power_ that Lena exuded as soon as she was in hearing range. Apparently, Lena was caught off guard by Kara's happy expression as well, as she paused slightly in her steps while they made eye contact. Sheepishly, Kara wiped off the grin, but she still smiled at the CEO as the woman neared the table.

"I see you took me seriously, Colonel Haley," Lena greeted as she nodded at them.

"We didn't have much of a choice, did we?"

"You could have simply investigated yourself if it is such a burden to be in the same room as National City's sweetheart."

Kara suppressed her smile from widening at Lena's subtle jab. Judging by the target's darkening expression – Kara was sure that was a record – Haley would very much like to kick Lena out to the curb for her disrespect. At that, the blonde only straightened in her position, prepared to do whatever she had to in order to prevent Lena from coming to any harm.

Even at the risk of her own freedom.

"Agent Lane, I'd say it's good to see you again, but considering the circumstances we last saw each other," Lena said with a shrug.

"Same to you," Lucy replied good-naturedly, not taking offense at all.

To the outsiders, to any normal acquaintances, Lena Luthor was the picture of composure, the model of calm, the ideal image of unmoved. But to Kara Danvers who had spent more than enough but simultaneously  _not enough_  time mapping the contours and the curvatures of Lena's face into her memories, she knew that Lena was not so unmoved.

Because she couldn't remember. The rapport she had built with Kara's circle of friends. The level of care she had managed to gain from the people who were supposed to give her shovel talks for dating Kara. The friendships she  _herself_ had built with these people. She had forgotten all of them.

So they could hardly blame her for not being used to this kind of easygoingness that they had all adopted with her. Not just easygoingness – it was something more like a protectiveness  _for_ Lena  _against_ others, because just because the subject her forgotten didn't mean the rest of them had, and it was difficult to get rid of habits.

But Lena gathered herself together, because she  _always_ did. And then she launched into things she had found out about her brother through all the documents she had pored through since she returned to her office two days ago – Kara had to restrain from questioning whether she had slept at all.

Apparently, via some deeper digging and flipping through files that were apparently not computerized, Lex Luthor had, presumably, been anticipating his arrest, citing the government's lack of incentives to truly act out on the true foreigners on their planet and his willingness to be imprisoned for the sake of humanity. But he certainly was  _not_ willing to  _stay_ imprisoned, which was why Lena had to perform several dozens of actions that were only ambiguously legal to find out offshore accounts based on shell companies that had been responsible for the bribery of individuals who had the  _power_ to assist him in his 'escape'.

Because, as proven by further digging and discovery through strands that normal people wouldn't have suspected, it wasn't much of a prison break but a deliberate plan hatched by a certain General Sam Lane to funnel the xenophobe out of the facility. Evidently, the general's anti-alien sentiments had been boiling, since the last time they met, up to a point where he was willing to overlook Lex Luthor's highly life-threatening tendencies in order to get what he wanted – aliens out of Earth.

At the mention of General Lane, Lena had become increasingly cautious with her words, throwing wary looks at his daughter but persisting in her explanation anyway. Lucy, on the other hand, seemed to ready to tug off her cast and confront her father about it, wherever he was right now.

"We can't do anything about it," Lena said. "Because his identity is so hidden that I had to…break a few laws to even find out that it was him. Plus, Lex's bribes weren't even to him. It's only because the rich-white-men network is so intricate that your father became a part of it."

"So if we arrest him…" Alex drifted off.

"The evidence would be inadmissible, if not vague at best. I would also probably be arrested, just because I'm a Luthor who did something vaguely illegal."

"What makes you think  _we_ won't arrest you here?" Haley daringly asked, either deliberately or unintentionally oblivious to the death glares that a certain Kryptonian was sending her way.

"Because Lex Luthor is a threat to  _all_ life forms on Earth, and this is the  _Department of Extranormal Operations_ , is it not?"

The blatant challenge in Lena's voice was steely and the opposite of well-concealed, but Kara supposed that it wasn't exactly the woman's intention to conceal any kind of challenge.

She wasn't certain what they had told Lena about the relationship between Supergirl and the DEO currently, or maybe they didn't have to tell her and Lena was just that perceptive to figure it out on her own – not that Kara would be surprised if she did – but judging by the words that Lena had used today and the ultimatum she had set upon Haley for her cooperation, she was on Kara's side.

And the knowledge of that, the idea that even though Lena had absolutely no idea of their reunion, of the full truth about the alien she was standing in the same room with, the almost heart-crushing confession that Kara had blurted out about her feelings when Lena had risked her life one too many times for Kara, only served to make Kara so happy. And she had to fight so hard to blurt out her love for the CEO again, especially not in front of the colonel.

"Yes," Haley reluctantly said, not even trying to hide her glare from the CEO.

"That's what I thought." She brandished a USB dongle from her purse and slid it across the table to Winn. "I've saved up all the information I can find. Given that my brother is out, General Sam Lane is involved, and Ben Lockwood has been released, I don't think it takes a genius to figure out what can possibly happen next." The rest of them only nodded in understanding. "Now, I still have a company to run, so if you'll excuse me."

Lena turned on her heels and started stalking away without properly bidding them any goodbye. The hurt on Alex and Winn's faces were evident, but they let her go anyway.

Partly because they would like to see Colonel Haley  _try_ to stop her, but mostly because they  _had_ to.

* * *

She only had to linger outside the window for around fifteen minutes when Lena said on the other side of the glass, "Are you ever going to knock?"

Sheepishly, the superheroine made a soft landing on the balcony and raised her fist to do just that, only for Lena to swing around in her chair, stand up, and sliding the door open for her. But instead of inviting the blonde in, she herself stepped out into the unusually humid air of the night, hands dutifully clasped in front of her as she leaned against one wall and directed her gaze at the blonde.

"I – uh –" Kara lifted both hands that were laden with plastic bags of which the exteriors were printed with the logo of her favorite Chinese restaurant. "I figured you haven't eaten, and Huang has the best potstickers in the city."

Inadvertently, Lena released a soft snort at that. "You wouldn't be the first person to tell me that." Something flashed in those green eyes, minuscule but familiar, yet Kara couldn't quite place it. It was gone in a second. "I imagine dinner isn't your main purpose for being here."

It didn't escape Kara that Lena hadn't made any explicit overtures to accept the takeout, so Supergirl was just standing there, on the balcony outside the biggest office in the second tallest building in National City, holding onto cartons and bags of Huang's Chinese takeout. She looked ridiculous, but when had she ever not been ridiculous when it came to Lena Luthor – this was considered small beans.

"It is!" Kara exclaimed truthfully. "I – Kara told me about all your bad habits with missing meals and being a workaholic. And when you said you're coming back to the office just now, I figured you probably forgot about dinner. Plus, there's the whole thing with your brother and the general and our resident anti-alien activist."

Lena narrowed her eyes. "So you're not here to ask me whether I was speaking the truth about not knowing anything regarding Lex's escape."

"No."

"Why?"

"I trust you."

"You certainly have a special way of showing it."

And there it was. Kara sighed, closing her eyes momentarily, before she lifted her hands to show the plastic bags again. "Do you mind if I –"

Lena was hesitant, but she eventually opened the door and allowed the superheroine inside to deposit the takeout bags on the coffee table. Kara took her time adjusting and laying out the containers, making sure they were standing and wouldn't fall over even when they had flat bottoms, arranging the chopsticks and spoons.

She was stalling, she knew that, and Lena certainly knew that – Kara didn't have to turn around to see the look on Lena's face. But apart from getting a hesitant invitation to enter, she didn't actually what else she could say.

Sure,  _earn her trust_ , as Cat had so sagely advised, but that was easier said than done. Sure,  _adapt_ , but that would have been easier before this whole disaster of potentially  _three_ staunchly anti-alien individuals working together, one of them even as a government officer. Sure,  _Lena loved her_ , but that would only work if Lena knew who she truly was, and she couldn't  _now_ because of stupid Haley and the stupid President.

Confronted with nothing else that could stall her time, she stood upright and stared down at the  _chow mein_  container, telling herself that this was the right thing to do, nodding to herself reassuringly, before spinning around to face the CEO.

"This is going to be a lot to ask, but I need you to trust me."

As expected, Lena only did the patented eyebrow raise, blinking excruciatingly slowly, at Supergirl's request. "That's not just a lot, Supergirl."

"It's impossible, I know."

"Good."

"But please."

"Why are you so insistent that I trust you?"

"Because you're important to me!" Kara exclaimed, loud enough to have Lena jerk back in surprise. She sighed and shook her head. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…" Hand aimlessly waving in the air, Kara shifted her weight. "I need to – it's – I just – important – you –"

Obviously, her attempts at forming intelligible sentences had gone out the window the more she  _tried_ , especially at the face of Lena's unwaveringly challenging stare. Somehow, Kara found herself wishing that Lena was  _glaring_ at her instead; at least she would understand the emotion that Lena was currently having

Right now, she wasn't even sure. In the midst of her anxiety and determination to succeed in her mission, she had lost her ability to discern everything that was Lena, which was something that everyone had willfully pronounced to suffice as a superpower itself if she wasn't Supergirl herself.

The logic was that if she couldn't get Lena's love in this  _trying_ time – Rao would only know how long it'd last – then she could at least have her trust. After having experienced the unrelenting belief that Lena had so kindly imparted upon her, Kara wasn't sure how else she could live without it.

"Okay," Lena interjected the blonde's useless bumbling, as if she was taking pity on Kara.

But there was also a curiosity in her eyes, mixed with something soft, something so familiar way back when. Kara could revel in the warmth of  _that_ forever.

Lena pushed away from the desk she had been leaning against and took slow steps in Kara's direction, until they were almost chest to chest. Kara held her breath, finding this kind of impossible, because she hadn't actually fathomed that she would have a chance to get Lena this  _close_ again after the memory wipe.

The raven-haired woman gingerly reached up a hand, pausing only a breadth from the logo sewed on the center of Kara's suit. Kara's enhanced eyes picked up on the slight tremble reverberating through those limber fingers, and she had half the mind to just call this whole thing off, if only to put away Lena's fear.

But then those fingers made contact with the top right corner of the logo. Kara tensed entirely, deciding that this was better than oxygen. Definitely better.

"I am giving you…one last chance," Lena whispered, aware that Kara could easily pick up on her words. "If I still…" Lena tilted her head back, catching Kara's eyes. "I don't want you to bother me anymore, am I understood?"

Kara clenched her jaw, but she nodded anyway. She extended both arms around Lena but did not touch the woman. "I'm gonna take you flying, okay?"

There was a moment of hesitation, and Lena looked like she wanted to protest, which was natural given her aversion to flying, but in the end, remembering her previous words, Lena closed her mouth, took a deep breath, and nodded in approval.

Inhaling slowly and then releasing that pocket of air in a whoosh, she gently but surely picked Lena up in a bridal carry, a style that she only used with the CEO – and something that had created a short-term scandal among the tabloids when they picked up on it. She made sure to ground her feet into the floor as they headed towards the balcony, forbidding herself from getting lightheaded and dropping down to her knees at  _finally_ having Lena in her arms again.

"Ready?" she whispered.

A nod, followed by a gasp when Kara took off.

She didn't rush. There was no speeding. There was also no keeping her ears or eyes out for any emergencies. For tonight was reserved for the woman in her arms. For tonight, any emergencies or alien-related crimes would be handled by the DEO – Kara would certainly like to see how Colonel Haley would do without her.

It was almost like cruising, if such a term could be applied to flying. Leisurely and gentle. She didn't urge the woman in her arms to get over her fear and just look up – it wasn't something she  _had_ to do.

Eventually – and unbeknownst to her, habitually – Lena lifted her face from the crook of Kara's neck, relieving the Kryptonian of the torment that had been her slow breathing on her skin. Kara offered a small smile as she watched Lena take in the scene before her, underneaththem, around them. They were, simply put, surrounded by National City, amplified only by Kara's slow to a hover over the bridge that connected the city and the towns that various citizens came from.

Above the bridge, as hundreds of cars mill back and forth on the roads despite the hour of the night, nothing was said between the two of them as the superheroine let the woman in her arms take it all in. The magnificence of the city that was under her protection. The glory of the sprawling urban space that Lena had contributed more than enough to. The activities of the occupants that helped the city thrive.

"It was wrong. I was wrong. Incredibly wrong. Dead wrong," Kara said when Lena gave her a querying look.

Lena narrowed her eyes. "About what?"

"I wasn't angry at you." Kara took a deep breath. "It was me. I was angry at myself. Because Reign wouldn't stop and we were running out of ideas to stop her and it was the first time I had so  _genuinely_ scared that I wouldn't be able to save the city, or even Earth. And then there you were with the synthetic Kryptonite and just…the idea of something  _else_ in the city destroying my ability to even  _try_ to save the city had me exploding."

"So I was just an easy target," Lena concluded.

Kara grimaced at the term. "I used to not be able to understand why my cousin was so angry at the DEO for keeping Kryptonite; I was able to accept that they had it. Please let me finish talking," she added when Lena looked ready to retort. "But then you – when you told us you have it, I got angry at you and I pretty much blamed it on you being a Luthor, but I assure it's  _really_ not. You being a Luthor is the last thing on the list."

"Okay, then why?"

"Because you're important me," Kara reiterated. At Lena's confusion, she continued, "The idea of you in possession of a material that could take  _this_ away for me." She moved a little in the air to prove her point. "Take away my strength, my heat vision, my freeze breath – everything that makes me Supergirl – it's unbearable, because you are  _important_ to me. And the DEO isn't. The DEO is – or was – just an organization I work with to protect the people of this country from extenuating threats, while you…" Kara drifted off, suddenly uncertain as to how she could phrase her words without giving everything away. "You are the strongest woman I know and, believe it or not, one of the people I trust the  _most_. And it just threw me off that you not only have Kryptonite, but you  _can_ make Kryptonite."

The hands laced behind her neck tightened in their grip, and Kara took it as a sign of an increase of trust from the CEO, if not entirely. She took it as a sign of progress.

"But I supposed I shouldn't be surprised. You  _are_ the woman who saved the aliens in this city time and time again with her genius alone. Of course you know how to create Kryptonite."

"I didn't create Kryptonite to intentionally harm you or your cousin," Lena explained.

The blonde tightened her grasp around the woman, nodding with a reassuring smile. "I  _knew_ that, Lena. I did. I  _do_. But I was just too blinded by… _everything_ to see things clearly. And I really am very sorry."

They looked into each other's eyes for a long moment – Kara desperately searching for  _any_ sign of progress while Lena expertly hiding any sort of emotion from showing.

Lena then looked away and back down to the city. And then she hummed. "I suppose I understand why you'd be afraid. This  _is_ a pretty good view."

At those words, Kara's heart panged harshly against her ribcage and she had to swallow, following Lena's gaze so that she wouldn't have to look at Lena. Those were the  _exact_ words Lena had said when they went flying for the first time after Kara had been truly forgiven. And it was after those words that Kara found herself losing control and kissing Lena for the first time.

"I know right," she choked out in a strained whisper.

Then of course, Lena took notice. Kara would have thought she'd forgotten to do that, but maybe it wasn't so much a memory as it was a skill. A skill few people in this world had – the Kara Danvers detection skill.

"Are you okay?" Lena asked.

Kara nodded, blinking rapidly to blink away the wetness before looking back at Lena. "Do you wanna – I can bring you back now if you want."

Lena took one last look at the magnificent sprawling view before nodding. This time, she didn't bury her face in Kara's neck, all the while watching the city flow past under them in slow motion – small blessings, Kara supposed. Sooner than Kara would have liked, they had arrived to the office and Lena was no longer in Kara's arms.

She watched as Lena walked towards the door without a word, anxiety almost strangling her as she waited for the verdict. It almost felt like there would be no verdict, like this would be the last time until J'onn could reverse the procedure – or maybe it would be irreversible, if Colonel Haley kept it up.

Except then Lena turned back around, leaning against the frame of the open space. They eyed each other for a long time, one with longing and the other with consideration. Then, as if she had just made a heavy decision, Lena nodded perceptively at the blonde.

"I wouldn't mind doing that again in the near future."

At first, confusion. Following that was complete comprehension. Then finally, unadulterated joy that Kara didn't even bother hiding as her lips tugged into the widest grin since the whole thing went down. Lena was smiling too, and there seemed to be nothing better than that.

"Yeah?"

"I appreciate a safe flight paired with a good view every now and then," Lena reaffirmed.

Kara laughed then, patting her biceps. "Don't worry. I will never let you be unsafe with me," she  _swore_.

Lena tilted her head and smirked. "I noticed."

Leaving Kara gawking, the CEO spun back around and slid the door close behind her.

The next morning, it was reported on various news stations that Supergirl had been spotted to be doing loops the night before. Kara stubbornly avoided Alex's curious gaze and continued doing loops in the morning.

* * *

Tense silence spread throughout the room, all eyes on the two people in the middle of it all, both of whom were entirely too concentrated on one another to realize that they were the focal point of everyone else. As a matter of fact, even J'onn J'onzz had deigned to keep his wisdom to a minimum, intent on seeing how this all play out.

One of the two people, Lena Luthor, esteemed CEO and secret philanthropist, narrowed her eyes at opponent momentarily before her lips tugged into the tiniest of smirks that only the Kryptonian could pick up. Lucy watched as the CEO's hand lifted and traveled slowly towards the middle of the table, moving a seemingly unassuming pawn to a square box.

Lena sat back and proudly declared, "Checkmate."

Part of the room erupted in cheers, part of the room clapped in congratulations, and part of the room groaned and hung their heads in protest – Lucy's being the loudest and most miserable as she had no choice but to surrender to Lena's promised victory. Lena had the widest grin as she giggled while being swallowed up in Kara's enthusiastic arms.

"To be fair, you kind of asked for it, Lucy," Sam said, grinning teasingly as she sipped on the bottle of beer that would be ineffective on her newly found Kryptonian physique.

After Kara's silent confession of surrender by showing up directly at Lena's office with coffee and lunch following weeks of silence, the blonde had then conceded to her yearning to be in Lena's presence pretty much all the time. And despite the ache and the constant reminder that Lena  _did not_ remember, they continued to hang out, because it was better than nothing at all.

Therefore, game night had been reinstituted, and this one was bigger than ever with the inclusion of Lucy and J'onn. Clark and Lois would have joined, but they had to return to Metropolis as they couldn't take too many days off work without Perry White hounding their asses – plus, perhaps they could dig up information in their city themselves.

"I was the  _best_ in JAG!" Lucy vehemently proclaimed.

"Surely you must have heard of tiny Luthor's genius in chess from Lois or Clark," Alex said. "They always said that Lex used to brag about his sister beating him in chess all the time."

"I barely listen to them as it is."

As the rest of the group bickered back and forth, Lena silently excused herself and slinked to the kitchen. Kara watched her movements, unable to keep her eyes off the woman and growing oblivious the conversation happening around her.

When Lena decided to stay in the kitchen, leaning against the island with her back towards them and a glass of water in her hand, Kara climbed her way out of the pile they had managed to create in the living room and joined the woman. Having noticed her presence, Lena looked to her with a welcoming smile that was a little strained but didn't make any move that indicated her intention to return.

Kara remained silent and stood opposite Lena. She wasn't going to say anything, because there was no way she'd open her mouth and not say something stupid that would break the whole charade that everyone else had staged. She needed to know what Lena was thinking first. Besides that, it didn't seem like the right situation for her to just barge in like a bulldozer.

"You make dangerous friends, Kara," Lena said, half bemused and half wary.

Right. Kara inhaled deeply and mustered a sheepish smile that she hoped to Rao that Lena wouldn't see through.

"Just my luck, I guess."

"Lucy was my brother's prosecutor." Lena gazed down at the glass. "I'm still not sure whether I should be glad that she was  _such_  a strong prosecutor or be pissed at her for being so  _good_."

Kara had her hands behind her back so she could wring her fingers together without Lena noticing her nervous quirk. She bit her lip and kept her lips pressed together. A big part of her wanted to just blurt out the truth, saying that the grudge between Lena and Lucy – if it could even be considered grudge – had long been resolved through a similar bout of chess – albeit tenser and less cheerful.

It was only by digging her nails _really_ hard into her spine that she was reminded to just be quiet.

"She's nice, though."

Kara nodded. "Very."

Lena returned her gaze towards the blonde, this time with a little more scrutiny. But she only hummed in acknowledgement and changed the topic so fast that Kara had to blink a couple of times. "Supergirl took me flying."

"O – oh?" She reached up to adjust the frame of her glasses.

"It was pleasant."

Thank Rao Clark wasn't here, or he would have heard the way his cousin's heart thumped louder in her chest. She tried not to see it, but there it was – the slight blush that contrasted Lena's skin tone so much that it was  _so_ obvious as it crept up the woman's neck. Kara resisted the urge to lick her lips and pump her fist, choosing instead to just  _dig._

"I suppose it's not that bad," Lena commented.

Kara tilted her head to the side. "What?"

Contemplating silence took place as Lena downed her glass of water and proceeded to refill it. The only noise for now was the distant raucousness that befitted the group in the living room and the glass being filled with water to the brim. And then Lena shot her a mysterious smile.

"That Supergirl cares."

Kara's stomach no longer felt so heavy.

* * *

"Supergirl, what about Ireland, huh? You promised to bring me back. Don't be an asshole and break your promises, goddammit. I just started –" Lena inhaled sharply to take ahold of her sobs.

Everything was…simultaneously numb and set afire; Kara couldn't decide between both. All she knew was that in all her life, the last time her head had felt so leaden and her entire body felt so unbearably nauseous was when she had blasted her powers.

She wanted to go to sleep, but she couldn't. How could she sleep when Lena's voice was filled with so much pain and terror? Ignoring the numbness that was spreading throughout her body, she forced herself to open her eyes however little she could manage; Lena was hovering over her, green eyes red-rimmed and cheeks tracked with dried tears.

Kara moved her mouth, attempting and failing to find words. She swallowed and blinked rapidly before trying again, managing barely a whisper. Still, Lena couldn't pick it up, looking confused and still blubbering on her own.

"She said that it's okay," Sam offered from behind Lena, eyes concerned and sad.

Kara smiled thankfully – probably not much of one anyway – at the other Kryptonian before finding Lena again with a nod.

Everything that had led to them being here – Kara on the floor with Kryptonite poison laced through her very veins and Lena sobbing her eyes out over them – had been much of a blur, but it had all been focused on one single point. At least, for Kara, it was that one single point, which was Lena's safety.

Because when a Luthor decided to subvert everything her family represented, in addition to the fact that three of the most anti-alien individuals had decided to team up together, one could be sure that this one Luthor would be their first target.

And they were right in their assumption – only they hadn't really expected it to be this quick in all their expectations.

And between losing the love of her life to their cruel hands and getting even the slimmest chance to save said love in exchange for her own life, Kara would gladly hand over her Kryptonian body to them on silver platter.

Lex had, somehow, managed to kidnap – or coerce – Lena into the trio's turf, presumably with part of the army that was steadfastly loyal to General Sam Lane. Then, because he was proud and reckless and unbelievably narcissistic, Lex thought it wisest to place a call directly on Kara's personal cellphone, simultaneously clicking his tongue at his sister's disloyalty towards his and his mother's allegiance and threatening to end said sister's life if Kara didn't show up at the intended location with her cousin in tow – no one else allowed.

Predictably, Clark had been hesitant. Sure, he had grown to trust Lena over the years – Kara basically had to threaten him with complete cutoff of their relationship if he so much as stared at the CEO wrongly for him to even  _learn_ to keep himself openminded – but they were still only tentative friends. It was probably impossible for the youngest Luthor and the male Kryptonian to ever be fully comfortable around each other.

Kara didn't even try to beg with Clark. One: she didn't have the patience to wait for him to make up his mind while Lena was enduring Rao-only-knew-what at the hands of three bloodthirsty nutcases. Two: she completely understood that he now had to consider the fact that he had a child coming along and it would be cruel to ask him to abandon his family.

So while they were all still arguing about whether Lex would hold out on his threat simply based on the fact that Lena used to talk about how Lex was the closest person to her and truly did love her, Kara had quietly slinked away and flew off to the coordinates that Lex had sent her.

As it turned out, she found herself at the Luthor Manor. Dramatic and poetic – summed up Lex Luthor as a person, she supposed. It seemed fine in the beginning, as she called out for his name and demanded him to meet her like a man. And suddenly, something whirred in activation and she found herself so weakened that she dropped to her knees, looking up to see the man himself standing at the balustrade that connected the spiraling stairs.

"I have waited for a Super to kneel before me for so long," Lex pronounced proudly, joined by Ben Lockwood and General Lane.

The Kryptonite surrounding the interior of the house was so intense that she lost all streams of proper thoughts. All she could recall was punches and kicks, slices of knives and implants of rubber bullets – all of those not enough to kill her but to make her suffer.

Because Lex Luthor was a sadist and his companions would certainly thrive at seeing a Kryptonian suffer so greatly.

The attacks seemed to happen for hours, days, months,  _forever_. She couldn't do much to stop it. But then all of a sudden, it stopped. Loud booming noises. Shouts of surprises and threats. The noisiness only served to make her want to sleep even more. Then it grew quiet, and she would have gone to sleep, except then Lena's frantic voice began to fill her ears, begging her and touching her and forcing her to open her eyes.

And Lena was okay. She was  _okay_ , save for faint bruises circling her wrists and a distinct gash on her forehead. But in the end, she was breathing normally and her heart was pumping wildly and she was  _alive_ and she was okay.

Kara could barely feel soft hands gripping her own. She could barely even muster her own squeeze in return, hoping that Lena could sense her reassurance and relief. Then she mouthed some more words that wouldn't be audible to human ears, relying entirely on Sam's ability to translate it for the CEO.

"She said she's just gonna go to sleep now."

"No, hey!" Lena protested.

"Goddammit, you stay the fuck awake!" Alex suddenly joined Lena in her field of vision, looking simultaneously pissed off and despaired. "How  _dare_ you."

Kara's smile widened. She closed and opened her eyes once more. She closed them. And black.

* * *

Cell Block X was reinforced in terms of security, material sturdiness, and the charges slapped against the person trapped inside, so much so that Kara would honestly be more than surprised if prison break happened again in the future.

Lucy herself slapped the cuffs on General Sam Lane's wrists, not even wavering as she read him his rights and swore to bring him to justice for endangering the lives of her friends and aiding the escape of Lex Luthor; Lois even managed to get in a good slap while wobbling on her heavy belly.

When Ben Lockwood was first released, it was on the grounds that was no concrete laws pertaining to the endangering of alien lives, but this time he involved Lena Luthor and was accomplice to Lex Luthor's nefariousness, so he would have a head of white hair by the time he came out of prison.

As soon as all three were well arrested and no longer served as a threat to humanity, the agreement between Lena and Colonel Haley dissolved  _immediately_. So instead of the DEO, Supergirl had to be transported to a laboratory housed in a warehouse to the far east of National City that belonged to Lena, which was probably a better choice, given that the CEO had better equipment than the agency – something that had made Alex incredibly jealous.

Nevertheless, despite her presence in a laboratory that belonged to Lena, the raven-haired woman never once showed up – at least, not when Kara was awake, and the blonde had tried to keep herself awake as much as possible just so she could get a glimpse of the woman, but Lena never showed up. Instead, for the three months that Kara was confined there, she was attended to by a team of bioengineers and certified doctors to ensure that she returned to full health.

Alex had reassured that L-Corp had made them sign NDAs and a ton of other agreements to keep their mouths shut about what they were doing in the lab, alongside a hefty amount of compensation to sweeten the deal.

The moment that Kara was given the go-ahead to go home, she was making for L-Corp, only to be stopped halfway in the sky by Sam.

"She needs space."

"No, I have to see her."

"Kara, she's fine. She's…better than I expected, actually. But she just needs space."

The blonde frowned, hands clenched into fists by her sides. "But I thought she already – does she still not trust me? Is that it?"

Sam sighed, lips quirked in a sad non-smile. "It's not that, Kara. It's just – the moment you guys get close again, you get hurt because of her. And she thinks it's her fault. Alex and I are trying to talk to her, and we're getting through to her, I promise. But if you show up, she's gonna go spiral back and you'd have wasted our effort."

"But it's not her fault! It's her stupid brother and stupid Sam Lane and stupid Ben Lockwood!"

"We know that, Kara. But you know Lena. Just give her some time," Sam implored. She hovered nearer to Kara. "Plus, she's not even in National City right now. She's taking a break."

Kara narrowed her eyes, impatience growing. "Where is she?"

"Kara," Sam heaved in a sigh, "just give her time."

* * *

Something like this had happened before. It was déjà vu, Kara and Lena standing on the rooftop of L-Corp overlooking the city. Only this time there were only Kara, Lena, and J'onn. She was confused as to why J'onn was even there, and judging by the frown on his face, he was too.

When she received Lena's text this afternoon to meet her, Kara didn't even hesitate.

It had been two more long and almost unendurable months since her release from the lab where she didn't get to see a hint of Lena, and Sam and Alex refused to tell her where the woman was despite her pestering. Once, she had even resorted to breaking into Sam's place in the morning and interrupt their sexy times to get answers – it was an image that Kara would never be able to forget no matter how hard she tried.

She had gotten paler, if that was even possible. Skinnier, as well. Kara wondered if she had eaten sufficiently wherever she had been hiding out in during her absence. Regardless, despite the physical changes, Lena still retained her regal posture, high and mighty, unafraid and unrelenting. She stood with her back to the Kryptonian and the Martian, teetering on the edge again and sending Kara's heart into freefall every time she so much as swayed.

"I should come to the roof more often," Lena said for the first time.

 _No, you shouldn't_ , Kara thought, while also relieved to hear Lena's voice again, the timber and velvetiness never failing in soothing the blonde.

The raven-haired woman turned around and faced them, hands stuck in her coat pockets and face set in an indifferent expression. "I actually came back yesterday, but Colonel Haley had summoned me to the headquarters to put me under intense questioning, grilling me for your identity, Supergirl."

Kara stiffened. So it had finally happened. As much she hated to admit it, they were right to perform the mindwipe on Lena, after all.

"After a total of twelve hours with that creepy alien, they finally let me go, very unhappy that I couldn't give them what they want."

For a long moment that might have spanned hours, Lena studied Kara with close scrutiny and unbound curiosity. Kara didn't say anything, knowing that there was a reason Lena sent them here.

"You know, I had thought it was weird. Something was…missing, I should say, for a long time. I feel like I know what's happening around the world, getting the latest updates about the latest updates, but I just can't figure out  _why_ there's a constant nag in my head whenever I look at you or Alex or even Lucy Lane, quietly  _screaming_ at me. The way you were all  _looking_ at me, like I'm something lost – especially you, Supergirl. A puzzle piece that doesn't fit but is also missing. I even went down to labs and do an MRI on myself just to see if something's wrong with my brain or if I was imagining things, but everything was A-Okay." Lena heaved a mirthless chuckle with a shake of her head. "Until today, when that alien was questioning me and Colonel Haley looked so damned determined to get an answer out of me that could screw you over that I figured it out."

Kara and J'onn shared a look, both wary and relieved and almost not surprised. Because if there was anyone that could see through their tricks and deceit, it was Lena Luthor, the smartest person out of all of them. Sure, it took her some time, but it was still impressive.

Releasing a sigh and a bitter smile, the CEO directed her gaze towards J'onn and gave an imperceptible shrug. "Go ahead. Reverse whatever you've done to me."

At Kara's unhesitating nod of approval, J'onn approached the CEO and pressed his fingers against her temple.

Truthfully, it didn't take long for J'onn to finish his deed, at most fifteen minutes. But as Kara stood there with her hands on her hips and a frown on her forehead and lower lip between her teeth, she might as well had grown mold. She wasn't sure what she was expecting. The worst, maybe, where the mindwipe did something irreversible to Lena's memories and not everything was in place.

She had suffered through what had to be  _months_ of pretending and aching by herself and crying herself to sleep. She had to repeat the process of gaining Lena's trust again, albeit harder this time. She had to watch as Lena stared at her – Kara Danvers – with the love in her eyes but not act on it because, in Lena's mind, Kara didn't love her back. She had to suppress herself from blowing a hole through the roof as Lena stared at her – Supergirl – with barely concealed hurt and wariness.

It was hard. Almost harder than being forced in a pod and watching her own planet blow up into meteorite debris.

This had to be a reward. It  _had_ to be. Because if not, all of it would have been for naught.

Then Lena gasped loudly, shaking wildly, and opened her eyes. Her entire balance was so thrown off as she immediately looked to Kara, and Kara's heart seemed to repair itself when she saw that familiar  _affection_ and  _devotion_ in those green eyes, only to be sent into freefall again when Lena's lack of balance sent over the edge of the building.

In a burst, Kara cried out Lena's name and swept past J'onn to leap over the building herself, swooping down as fast she could to capture the woman who had just barely returned. Lena's arms didn't even hesitate to circle around her neck when Kara finally reached her and they flew upwards again, passing J'onn and so high up that no one could hear or see them but them.

The blonde lowered her eyes to Lena to see the woman staring at her with so much awe. And then when Lena's hand cupped Kara's face, a whimper escaped the blonde's throat and she leaned in towards the touch she had been longing for.

"Oh,  _darling_."

The exhale that Kara released was shaky and unburdened for once. "I missed you so much," she cried.

Lena smiled through her tears. "I told you, didn't I? Lena Luthor will always love Kara, no matter what." And she was right, because even when Lena hated her, she still loved her – as proven by her act of blind trust in allowing Kara to fly her or her provision to only work with the DEO if Kara was involved or her insistence for Kara to stay alive.

Kara leaned down to rest her forehead against Lena's. "I love you too," she choked out.

When she lowered further to  _finally_  kiss Lena, it felt like pressing a restart button, only bigger and redder, much brighter than the first time they kissed way back when. This time, it happened with a sense of readiness and anticipation that had clouded over them so much that Kara would have made love to Lena right here if she could.

But she digressed. When she drew back, their foreheads leaned together again.

"I promised you a trip to Ireland," she whispered.

Lena giggled, rubbing her thumb over Kara's nape – an inexplicable habit that Kara enjoyed  _a lot_. "You did." She gave the blonde an Eskimo kiss with a quiet hum. "But let's go home first."

 _Home._ Kara's smile broadened into an unbridled grin. They could finally go  _home_.

There was still a lot to deal with. Colonel Haley was still wreaking havoc at the DEO. The new President was still an asshole. There was still a trial with Sam Lane. And undoubtedly many more difficulties to come their way in their lives as heroes of National City.

But right now, as they had their arms around each other, with the memories of their love for one another so  _bright_ and hotly  _seared_  into their minds, it was a given that they would be able to pull through everything, as long as they were together.  _Home_.

"Yes, ma'am."

**Author's Note:**

> believe me, i intended to be much more angsty than what it is - like with a sad ending and all, such as lena not remembering even when j'onn reverses it - but i figured out y'all could be spared 13k words of angst. so in that act of mercy, this is what you get.
> 
> oh god, now i can finally sleep without constantly letting this fic eat my brain. thanks a lot, supercorpfics on twitter.
> 
> you can find me on twitter @ [embettah](https://twitter.com/embettah) or you can [LOVE ME](http://overcanary.tumblr.com/post/180468208042/taking-commissions-caffeinate-me).


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